Here i sit, yet again. I tell myself I will not succumb to my need to hear from you. I will be strong. I will stay steadfast and look forward.
Days go by. Weeks begin to stack. Tears begin to fall.
I can do this. I will not let yoy see my pain. I will bot let you know your power.
Phone rings. Your photo strewn across my screen. I tell myself don’t out loud. My heart screams ANSWER! That moment the heart wins. Your voice sets my soul afire. Ales the hurricane in my head. The ocean between us will never stop my entirety from yerning for you lips and all that is attached to them.
I think my shield is defective. I need a refund.
Every time I think I’m able to block my feelings for you and not care if you answer my messages/calls or not; you slip through a default in my weathered shield in front of my heart and mind.
The minute my phone goes off, I silently beg not to let it be you. At the same time hoping that it is you.
This shield was supposed to protect my heart and mind. Dammit, this thing is defective.
You take up so much of my heart, that there’s barely any space left for even the smallest of a child to occupy a portion. Years have stacked up on this weathered heart like dust on sheet covered furniture in an abandoned house. Random lines here and there. Never losing contact. Keeping that light ripple in that ocean between us alive.
Here you stand. In front of me. This day, I never thought we’d ever see it.
Heart calm down.
Mind, keep it together.
This roller coaster is off to a rough start. My entire existence now has to be re-evaluated. You stir this cauldron of emotions and I don’t have the proper flotation device.
You are Home. My soul spirals into it’s calm. All my fears at this moment disappear. Your embrace; I melt into your arms. Lay my ear on your chest and become one with your heartbeat again. Inhale your fragrance. Letting it burn into my memory once again. Feeling you tower over me.
You have returned for this one fleeting moment. My heart for once in years is at it’s same level as my mind. I’ll take this. I’ll savor this. I’ll never let this go.